My Short Story, "Lilly."

 

 

Copyright Glo Lewis 11/8/2023

 

Dear Readers of My Blog, 💚 

I have decided to share my short story, “Lilly,” with you. Here is the story below (As usual, God bless, and I'll be in touch soon):

 

Lilly

Copyright Glo Lewis 11/8/2023 

                     

             

 

                                   

  It was April 1984. Lilly James watched from the front window of her house on Park Lane in Lytell, Oregon, a suburb of Maintown, as a pink sunset blazed through Douglas fir trees. She and her husband, Jimmy, had lived in Oregon for four years. They had one child, a daughter, Charlemagne, whom they called “Charlie.” Charlie would be three next month.

  Lilly’s face did not show her age. At thirty-four, she had no wrinkles. Her bleached blonde hair, finely feathered to her shoulders, contrasted sharply with her brown eyes. Dressed in a crisp, white shirt, blue jeans, and lavender moccasins with tiny, colored beads, Lilly looked the very picture of a suburban American homemaker. She was tall and thin, and in another life, she might have been a model with her high cheekbones and clear, fair skin, but Lilly was an artist at heart. In her mind, she carefully composed the paintings that she imagined: Luscious, juicy fruits in vibrant colors played across an imaginary canvas amidst rays of brilliant orange and yellow suns. Dancing insects took winged flight across misty pre-dawn lakes that rippled in soft yellow-grays. She had many ideas. How she would paint, if only they could afford it!

  Looking out at her suburban neighborhood this evening, she swigged back the last of a Coors, enjoying the little alcohol buzz that she had going, ground out her cigarette into a favorite crystal ashtray, and contemplated divorcing Jimmy.

  Meanwhile, Jimmy lingered in a shower just off their master bedroom. Jimmy James was a strapping man, six feet four inches tall. His father had been a Sioux Indian, and his mother was Italian American. Jimmy’s face was angular, with a strong jaw. His olive skin, blue-black hair, and easy smile were his best features.

  Jimmy and Lilly were due at a party later at their friends,’ Sydney and Leonard Snow’s house. The Snows’ lived across the street in a white, sprawling, ranch-style home, the largest in the neighborhood. They were loved for their generosity and resented for their wealth. Lilly and Jimmy knew their secrets because people in their social circle talked. Sydney was hooked on prescription painkillers and drank too much. Leonard slept with his wife’s friends.

  Lilly sometimes drank too much, also, but only at parties when she occasionally smoked marijuana. She never did these things around Charlie, however. It was important to her to set a good example for her daughter. It was bad enough that she smoked cigarettes, she believed. She did not want another addiction. Besides, alcohol and weed were not that important to her. Most of the time, she could do without them. On the other hand, no party was worth its salt without at least one of these elixirs, as far as Lilly was concerned.

  Lilly had reached a point where she wanted a creative outlet, some freedom from what she perceived to be the suffocating sameness of her life in Lytell. Most days, Jimmy worked in his shop behind the house carving wooden and stone sculptures and painting them. He did excellent work. He made a living for them, and in the process developed a decent reputation as an artist. Lilly kept the house and took care of Charlie. Now, however, she felt that she had to confront Jimmy more forcefully than she had in the past about taking an art class at the local college.

  The mirror fogged with steam as Lilly entered the master bathroom. She wiped a circle with the heel of her hand and checked her lipstick. “Jimmy?”

  “Yeah?” Jimmy said. Behind the shower door, Jimmy rinsed the last of shampoo from his black hair, and ran fingers through the wet strands, pulling them back from his face. He turned off the water and stepped out.

  “I want to take an art class at Little Creek College,” Lilly said. She sat on the sink counter.

  Jimmy wrapped a towel around his waist, then combed his hair and considered Lilly’s statement. “We’ve talked about this before. I’m still carving the new wooden animals. The wood is like rock. There is a lot that I need to do before the show at the mall, and I cannot afford to be distracted. If you’re not here, who’s going to watch Charlie?”

  Lilly pointed at Jimmy.

  “Me? I don’t think so,” Jimmy said, irritation rising in his voice. “I’d never get any work done with the baby in the shop.” He lathered his face. Lilly’s nostrils flared with the fragrance of perfumed shaving soap. “It would take too much time away from your responsibilities. I need you here; Charlie does too. I’m running a business, Lilly, even if it is a one-man operation.” He shaved.

  “We could hire a sitter.” Lilly spread her hands imploringly. “We could manage. It’s just one class, Jimmy.”

  “I’m not dealing with sitters, particularly in my own home,” Jimmy said, grunting as though that were final. He eyed Lilly in the mirror.

  “I’ll take care of it. I’ll hire the sitter, or I can take Charlie to an extra daycare session at her preschool,” Lilly said.

  Jimmy wiped away some of the shaving lotion from near his ears with a hand towel.

“No,” he said.  

 “No? That’s it—no?” Lilly stared, her eyes hard, the muscles in her face taut. She wondered how she could leave Jimmy. She would always be connected to him on some level, because of Charlie, and she hated that idea. She suddenly felt like a teenager wanting to take Charlie and run away from home.

  Jimmy was talking. Lilly could see his lips moving, and his hand working the razor across his face, but she was lost in thought. She suspected that Jimmy was capable of doing anything to prevent her from leaving him. She felt like a prisoner with Jimmy as her jailer. Anger coiled through her like a snake. “That’s just like you,” she hissed.

“It’s always about you, isn’t it Jimmy? Never about me, or what I might need or want. For God’s sake, I never even get a vacation, but I know that you’re going off fishing in a few weeks. I’d like to know when I start to matter. I come last in everything in this house!”

  Jimmy dried his neck with a dark blue towel. He took Lilly’s face in his hands and looked her in the eyes. “Come on, pookie, don’t be like that,” he said.

  Lilly pushed his hands away. She slid down off the counter. “Don’t try to charm me, Jimmy. I’m serious about this.”

  Jimmy’s face reddened, and his chest heaved a little. “You always push me away anymore, Lilly.”

  “Well, I get tired of having to ask you for permission for every little thing, Jimmy. You’re not my father.”

  “Yeah, well it’s a darn good thing I’m not, isn’t it, Lilly? I mean, wasn’t he rather a sonofabitch?”

  “He was, Jimmy, but you’re just as controlling.”

  Jimmy put his fingers to his mouth distractedly. “Where’s Charlie?” he asked.

  “Napping.

  “Jimmy, sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy around here. I need an outlet, something all my own. I want to take that art class.”

  “We can’t afford it, Lilly. It’s two hundred dollars.”

  “We can make a few payments; the college allows for such arrangements.”

  “Not right now.”

   “Not right now. Then when?” She said, her anger rising.

  “I don’t know, Lilly.” He dried his body.

  “That’s just it. You never know, Jimmy. I never have any idea of what we can afford. I have to ask you for every damned thing!”

  He smiled derisively. “I pay the bills. When you pay the bills, you can make those decisions.”

  “Okay, I’ll start paying the bills then.”

  Jimmy left the vanity and walked into the bedroom. Lilly followed him. “No, I don’t think so,” he said, removing his underwear from his bureau drawer and putting it on.

  “Now you don’t think so. Don’t you think I can handle the budget? I think I can do a better job of it than you, Jimmy. It’s not as though I’m not capable. I do have a college education. But even so, a person doesn’t need a college education to manage a budget, Jimmy.”

  “Never said otherwise,” he said.

  “Well then? I want to do it.” She widened her eyes and glared at him.

  “Stop it. I take care of the money.” He sat on the edge of the bed in his underwear and slipped into his socks.

  “And why is that? Who determined that you would take care of the money forever and always? I know I didn’t sign off on that.”

  “Are we done here? I’m tired of this,” he said, picking lint off his socks.

  “No, we’re not done, Jimmy. We haven’t resolved a thing.”

  “I thought we had a pleasant thing going. I run the business, take care of the books, and you keep the house and take care of Charlie.”

  She sat down next to him on the bed. “Well, it doesn’t seem to be working out so nicely. When do I get paid? Huh? I’d like to know where my remuneration is for work well done, Jimmy.”

  “There you go using those fifty-dollar words again.” He stood up and faced her.

  “Fifty-dollar words! I’d like to have fifty dollars to my name just once!”

  His face reddened. He threw his arms out wide. “What do you think, I can just pull the money out of my ass?” 

  “No, but that’s just it. I don’t have any idea what our finances are. As your wife, I should know that. I should know everything about our financial picture.”

  “Yeah well, in all my spare time, I’ll enlighten you.”

  “Look, I know we’re both busy.” She met his eyes. “Jimmy, may I please take a class? It means a lot to me.”

  “No; it’s stupid,” he said.

  Lilly’s heart began to race. She placed her hands on her thighs and leaned forward. “Why is it stupid?”

  “It just is, that’s all. You already have an education.”

  “So! So what? I can’t try to grow and learn new things?”

  He stared at her but did not reply.

  “Look, Jimmy, when we met, what did you think of me? Didn’t you think that I was smart and educated, and that I would want to make something of my life?”

  “No. I thought you were stupid.”

  Lilly was incredulous. She jumped up and paced the bedroom like a tiger. “You thought I was stupid? Why did you think that?”

  “Because you had a college education, and you were working at the phone company.”

  Her eyes blazed with heat as she suddenly seethed with anger.

  “Anyway, maybe you’re too stupid for art. This is something that requires subtlety. I think that maybe you know very little about the subject. You come on too strong.” He reached down and smoothed the bedspread.

  “I am stupid, aren’t I, Jimmy?” Lilly narrowed her eyes. “Stupid for marrying you.” She turned to leave the bedroom but glanced back. “I’m taking that class so see that you budget for it.”

  Jimmy reached for her arm, but Lilly slipped from his grasp, inadvertently scratching him with her long nails. Fury glittered in Jimmy’s dark eyes like rolling rubies. “You’re a bitch, you know that?” His face contorting with disgust, he turned and went into the bathroom, wiping blood from his arm.

  Lilly followed him. “You act like I scratched you on purpose! I’m sorry you got scratched, Jimmy. But don’t call me a bitch!”

  Jimmy ran chilly water over his arm and watched the thinning blood run down the sink.

  “You can’t walk away from this, Jimmy. It’s not going to go away.”

  “Don’t talk to me!” He growled, glaring at his arm.

  Lilly stood behind him. “You don’t give a shit about me, do you, Jimmy? Because if you did, you’d work at this marriage. You’re the one who’s stupid. You can’t see that our marriage is falling apart.” She put her hands on her hips. “If you were so brilliant, you’d see that!”

  Jimmy washed his arm with a cold, wet washcloth, and glanced up to look at her in the mirror. His lips curled with contempt. “I see you’ve had too much to drink.”

  “I’ve had one drink. We are going to a party. What’s wrong with having one drink? It puts me in the mood.” She ran a hand through her hair. “You focus on bullshit, Jimmy, instead of seeing the big picture.” She straightened her shirt and glanced at herself in the mirror.

  Jimmy dried his arm, threw the towel down on the counter, and brushed past her going back into the bedroom. “And what’s the big picture, genius?”

  “The big picture is that this marriage is over. I’m going to divorce you, Jimmy. I’ve had it.” She opened a drawer in the vanity counter, withdrew a lighter and lit a cigarette with her trembling hand. She followed Jimmy back into the bedroom and blew the smoke in his direction.

  “You make me sick,” he said, slipping into black slacks and a white shirt.

  “The feeling’s mutual,” she shot back bitterly.

  He walked over to her and put his index finger next to her nose. “You’ll always be my wife,” he said.

  Lilly pushed his hand away, her eyes like stones.

  “Get dressed for the party,” he said. “You look like shit. I want to be on time for a change.” He left the room.

  Lilly looked out their bedroom window and smoked. She felt cloaked in despair as heavy as a winter coat. The sun was setting and shone through the trees, clear as an open door. She saw herself walking through that shaft of light with her daughter and disappearing into a forested world.

  After dinner, Lilly’s fourteen-year-old niece, Greta, came over as planned, to watch Charlie for the evening. After giving Greta Sydney’s phone number, and kissing Charlie goodnight, Jimmy and Lilly crossed the street to the Snow’s house in silence.

  Suburbia’s tailored, green-carpeted lawns lent a prissy look to the neighborhood. Lilly could hear the spray of a sprinkler, amidst the soft, rustling breeze through white birch trees. Expensive cars decorated the curb and nestled three-deep in the Snow’s driveway. Lilly could see her reflection in the windows and high-gloss wax of a Mercedes under the streetlamp. She was wearing a tight, pink brocade dress that clung to her slender hips. The last time she wore this dress to another of Sydney’s parties months ago, Sydney’s uncle, drunk on whiskey, attempted a lame flirtation, and said to Jimmy, “I see you brought the machine.”

  Lilly had responded with “Vroom, vroom,” as though she were a hot racecar. This evening, she had carefully selected brilliant pink lipstick to match the dress. Her black

suede high heels made her look very tall. She looked up at Jimmy thinking that at least they looked good together.

  “Hello Dahlings!” Sydney cooed at the front door to her home, giving Lilly and Jimmy little perfumed hugs and kisses in the air next to their cheeks so as not to muss her lipstick. She was a big, beautiful, thirtyish woman with well-creamed skin. Her dyed black hair, coifed stylishly in short wisps, framed her face. Her eyes were twinkling blue gemstones. Sydney was never happier than during one of her own parties. Music, like running water, rushed from the house. Lilly could hear the loud, animated voices of the guests whom she could also see behind the walls of windows. “My soiree is under way, as you can see!” Sydney sang out, blowing boozy breath in their faces. “It’s about time you guys got here! I thought I was going to have to send Arjuna after you.” Arjuna was the Snow’s St. Bernard. They treated him like the child they did not have, lavishing the animal with toys, treats, and affection.

  Lilly knew from experience that her friend had already consumed several drinks, but it didn’t matter; it made it okay for Lilly to have a good time too. “Jimmy, be prepared!” Sydney shouted over the music. “Leonard’s just gotten a new toy—a cabin cruiser. I’m sure he’s going to drag all you boys out to the garage tonight to show it off.”

  Jimmy’s olive skin glowed in the porch light making him look younger than his thirty-eight years. He ducked down to get in the front door, laughing a little, his teeth shining like porcelain. “I’ve heard about the boat all week,” he said.

  “There you two are. Get in here, and have a drink,” Leonard ordered, sweeping a hand across his thinning brown hair. He ran his eyes over Lilly like a tongue, and then took Jimmy by the arm toward the bar.

  Lilly waved at people she knew from previous parties. “Let’s get rid of your purse,” Sydney said, ushering Lilly down the long, glassed-in corridor to her master bedroom where finally, Lilly dropped her purse on the king-sized bed with dozens of other guests’ purses and coats, and then sat down in a nearby chair.

  Sydney disappeared into the vanity area. “I’ve got champagne for us tonight,” she called back to Lilly, as she blushed her cheeks with a wide brush in the mirror. “It’s in the bucket on the hearth. Pour yourself a glass.”

  “Great!” Lilly exclaimed. She looked around, noting that a gas fire burned on a log in the bedroom fireplace. She walked over and pulled the champagne bottle from the ice in the silver bucket and poured herself a glass. “Shall I pour you a glass, Sydney?” She asked.

  “Got one in here already,” Sydney called back.

  Lilly drank her champagne, and studied her long, manicured nails. After a time, she went into the vanity area.

  Sydney was naked, leaning casually against the counter. “Want to go skinny dipping?” She lit a joint with a gold lighter, and then sucked on it in deep drags. Holding her breath, her heavy breasts rising, she held out the joint to Lilly.

  Lilly took the joint. “Could I ask you something?” She said, and then paused. She tried to sound devil-may-care, tried to affect the breezy presentation of the nouveau riche. “What happened to your clothes? And do you realize that I can see your breasts? Those are some big breasts, too!”

  “Don’t be such a prude, Lilly.”

  “Oh, now I’m a prude.” Lilly sucked on the joint, inhaling the hot smoke. She coughed.

  Sydney nodded. “Good stuff, huh?”

  “I don’t know yet. Ask me in a minute.” Lilly exhaled a big puff of sweet air. She inhaled the joint again. Starting to feel the high, she said, “Wonderful, Dahling,” imitating Sydney’s standard greeting. “But what the hell are you doing?” She tried not to look at Sydney’s chubby body.

  “I thought we’d do something different tonight. While the guys visit in the garage, the ladies will have a skinny-dipping party.”

  “There’s no way I can do that with Jimmy around. He’s a royal pain in the ass. We had a huge argument today. We’re barely speaking.”

  “He’ll get over it,” Sydney said.

  “I won’t.”

  “You’ll manage. Get over it for now, will you? It’s a party!” She held out a blue bikini. “Here. I bought this bikini just for you, skinny. Try it on. You can slip out of it in the pool, like the rest of the ladies,” Sydney said.

  It was a pretty, blue bikini. Lilly eyed it thoughtfully. She wanted to try it on. “Jimmy will throw a fit,” she said.

  “I’ll talk to him. He can’t get mad at you if all the ladies are naked.”

  “Oh yes he can. You don’t have to go home with him,” Lilly said.

  “Come on, have some fun, Lilly. Try on the suit. I bought it for you.”

  “Okay, but I’m going to try it on alone.” She waved Sydney out of the room. She slipped out of her clothes and into the bikini under the bright lights of the vanity. She needed a tan, she observed, while noting every flaw on her body. She wrapped a towel around her waist and left the vanity.

  “You scaredy cat,” Sydney said. “A towel. Why do you need a towel to cover that skinny ass of yours?”

  Sydney now wore a red one-piece swimsuit. “I see you now have your suit on. Let’s move on, shall we?” Lilly stated flatly.

  “We shall.” They then headed down the long corridor to the front room.

  Once in the front room, Lilly and Sydney watched while Leonard led the men, including Jimmy, out to the garage to look at his new boat. “Let’s swim,” Sydney said. Lilly stepped back, briefly losing some of her balance. The room seemed to spin. “Ladies only,” said Sydney. The front room was now empty. The men had gone to the garage, and the women were out at the pool.

  “Sydney, I’m going to divorce Jimmy.”

  “No you’re not!”

  They walked through the family room toward the pool. Lilly could see several women splashing in the lighted blue water. She gave Sydney an uncompromising look, but Sydney flashed her an equally disbelieving one. No one in Sydney’s family ever divorced. Certain that it was the weed and the liquor talking, Sydney threw her head back, and laughed heartily. “Does Jimmy know about this?”

  “Sort of. I told him, but I don’t think he believes me,” Lilly said.

  “My advice to you is to take two aspirin and call your lawyer in the morning.” Sydney ran ahead, her heavy footsteps pounding on the white concrete. “Come on!” She called out, peeling off her red swimsuit to reveal tan, meaty thighs and a big butt browned in Palm Springs. The air was cool and chlorinated. The ground felt cold to Lilly’s bare feet. She watched as Sydney dove into the pool, and water sprayed like an open fire hydrant.

  More women jumped into the water while Lilly reluctantly circled the pool that was noisy with party talk and splashing. At last, she stepped into the shallow end of the pool and slowly removed her bikini. The water felt warm against the cool air. Lilly relaxed. She went under the water to wet her hair. She slicked it back to look like models in magazines, hoping that her mascara was not running too much. Her small breasts floated on the bouncing water. Someone offered her a joint. She had consumed enough of everything, and shook her head no. Actually, she felt a little frightened by her level of intoxication. This was not what she wanted. What did she want? She wondered if anyone ever grew up. Lifting herself, and leaning back, with her elbows on the edge of the pool and her chest thrust forward, she breathed deeply of the night air trying to sober up. That is when she saw Dewy Thornton for the first time. Lilly quickly slipped into the water to her neck. The man strolled by, gliding softly like a cat. His eyes, blue as the water, cut through Lilly like an epiphany. He grinned widely, his teeth white against a tanned, rugged face. Lilly reminded herself that she was still married, but the man’s eyes held her like a bond. Something welled up in her, and she suddenly knew for the first time in her life, that for this feeling, she would go anywhere, do anything. Inexplicably, she loved this man.

 

 

The End